I can't help but do what Kurosaki-kun says
by Oestrogenius
Summary: This is a I'm Not Just Going to Do What Kurosaki-kun Says aka Defying Kurosaki-kun aka Kurosaki-kun no iinari ni nante naranai Fan fiction which is Kurosaki x Shirakawa but sadly there is no category for it. The story summary is as follows: The love triangle is ended when one of the characters steps aside to let the other two enjoy each other.


**This was supposed to be a one shot but I got carried away, but can you blame me? It's still one chapter but it's** _ **really**_ **long.**

Start

Yuu's phone makes a sound. She reaches to her bedside table without fully opening her eyes and accidentally knocks her glasses on to the floor. _Oops!_ She thinks. The glare of the screen hurts her eyes. _Now I'm awake… Come to think of it, who would text me at this hour?_ She glances at her alarm clock. _It's eight am! No! I'll be late today if I'm not careful. It must be Meiko. I said I'd quiz her before the test._ She taps on the message before reading it and uses the phone's voice function to reply.

"I'm on my way." As soon as it's sent she jumps out of bed and feels around on the floor cursing the fact her alarm never went off. She looks at the clock again as soon as she finds her glasses.

 _Ah! So it was three am. I'm going back to sleep…_ She sighs a breath of relief and closes her eyes. The phone chimes again.

"Shut up!" She accidentally says out loud, then realises she never read the first text. She grumbles under her breath about having to deal with all these disruptions at such a time of day. She reads the first message.

「Come here.」

"How rude."

「I'm on my way.」

"Aw, that was me… Why did I say that before reading it?"

「Hurry.」

"It's the from one that got me out of bed! Again... Boy, this person sure is up themselves don't they know I've got a test today!? When I find out who it is I'll kill them unless it's Shirakawa-kun or Meiko or-" The phone bleeps again.

「Now.」

"Oi who do you think you're talking to!? That's it you're getting ignored." She changes the settings to not disturb her, but another message comes through before she finishes.

「You've got until the count of ten.」

"Oh no!"

「To be where?」

「My room.」

「Who is this?」

「The master.」

「Of what?」

「Of you.」

「No.」

「Yes.」

「No.」

「You are my slave.」

「No.」

「You come when I call you.」

"'Slave'!? Slave… Slave! Kurosaki-kun! When did I give him my number!? Never! Right, that means he came and-" Another message comes.

「If I have to come over there and get you, you will know about it.」

「Kurosaki-kun?」

「What?」

「Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow.」

「No.」

「Yes.」

「No.」

「What's your problem? 」

「You are being obstinate and I will not tolerate it. Make no mistake, if I do not see you in this room by the time I count to ten you will pay.」

She gets ready to send an argumentative response then takes a second to consider what kind of punishment a sadist like Kurosaki would give.

「Enter quietly. The guy in my room is asleep. The door is ajar.」She doesn't reply but races through the corridor as fast as her little legs will carry her. She tiptoes into the room and carefully presses the door closed without a sound.

"Shh!"

"What!? I didn't even-" He scowls at her and puts one finger over his lips. Shirakawa stirs in his sleep and Kurosaki gets mad and points at the floor next to his bed to summon her. After being woken up, in the middle of the night and ordered around like a dog, her patience wears thinner and thinner. She's ready to leave. "This better be quick, it's late."

"Get over here, right now, you have made me wait long enough. You will not be forgiven-"

"Like I care."

"Unless you lick this."

"Your trousers? What's to you have under your clothes?" She tilts her head further and further to the side was her confusion increases.

"Guess?"

"I don't know, show me."

"You're trying to be funny aren't you?"

"Let me see." She grabs his waistband and pulls it right down, before he can react.

"Oi, stop you're not meant to see that."

"Ssshh you'll wake Shirakawa-kun up."

"Can you just leave now."

"Hush your complaining."

"No, you were supposed to be shocked, not curious, I need you to get out now."

"Ok, I think I'll stay..."

"You _want_ _to_ lick this!?" He whispers hastily as he struggles to control the urge to shout at her.

"A bit."

"You're supposed to say 'No', 'gross', 'how could you?', 'I'm too shy', 'I'm scared' and so on and so forth. You can't just say yes. Don't be a cheap woman. You can leave now."

"What? You call me all the way here."

"Well, I called you here for nothing, now get out."

"Make me."

"This is neither the time nor the place for you to be arguing. You're getting so full of yourself. It doesn't suit you."

"Well then, that's my business."

"I didn't think you could be like this."

"You must have misjudged me."

"This is the time to squeal and a run."

"You can't bring me in here offer _that_ , then tell me to go. I've seen it now."

"And?"

"I'm going to enjoy it."

"You never enjoy your time with me."

"Don't you want me to?"

"It's no fun for me if you say 'yes', you've got to fight or it's like you've got no self-respect. Just go back to your room."

"Nah."

"Stop being too obedient."

"That's just a conflict of interests, isn't it? You can't even make your own mind up. If you're going to- "

"My mind was made up that nothing was going to happen before I texted you. You're not supposed to want to do this sort of thing."

"Because?"

"Because it's nasty."

 _He's really revolted by the prospect of me doing what he asked… I've taken his power away! I didn't think that was possible he's usually so calm and collected. Serves him right. I've never been able to get my own back on him before, because he's always threatening me, not now. Why is this time so different?_

"Don't ignore me. What kind of idiot agrees to meet someone before asking who it is and where?"

"Well excuse me for having faith in humanity! I swear you're determined to take that away from me."

"Don't come any closer."

"Just sit still."

"Have some class!"

 _That does it. I'll show him!_ She kneels down in front of him.

"Ah~"

"Did you just make a sound?" He whispers.

"No, did you?"

 _Oh ho ho! This is getting good. Why can I never touch myself silently!? I'm lucky Kuro, sleeps with headphones! Maybe he just wants to block it out and pretend I don't get off every night, without fail. He definitely made eye contact with me once, but he's never brought it up, he was probably more embarrassed than I was… I don't think our girl, Yuu-chan will take the route of not reacting… From what I've seen she's got no control over her emotions! Kya they're looking at me! Things are getting lively tonight! I'd better close my eyes and try to act like I'm sleeping._

"I didn't, Takumi is getting restless, he could wake up any second."

"That doesn't bother me in the slightest."

"Well it should." He pulls the bed sheets up. "Leave me alone!" He whispers harshly.

"What? Are you wussing out now?"

"It's not for you to make such a comment, this is simply a case of me telling you that this conversation is over. Stand up and go back to your room, this instant."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Woah~ Wait a minute." He grips the mattress.

"I don't want to."

"But… Please… This is so wrong. You're supposed to shriek and run away or hit me or-"

"Don't tell me how to live my life, this is what you called me for, hush your complaining."

"Oh!" He involuntarily gasps. Just stop, this is not what I want, you're supposed to be the one complaining."

"What? Do you want that?"

"Can't you see I'm particularly sadistic?"

"Eh?"

"I get a kick out of your misery."

"You wanted me to suffer?"

"I wasn't being serious, ok?"

 _It's not as if this is all because I was particularly displeased with your attitude towards the boy who only started to charm you out of spite..._

"Well, shame on you. Bullying an innocent girl like me."

"But you're not innocent."

"I'm just following orders, 'lick this', you said."

"I also said stop. I mean it now-ow-ow~"

"Ok, I won't lick anymore. I'll just my use whole mouth instead."

 _Uwa~ She's such a boss, Kuro is almost vulnerable like this, what changed? I know he's only aggressive to hide his naivety and sensitivity but-_

"Ah!" Kurosaki takes a deep breath, clenches his fists and tenses as the springs creak under the force of his convulsing hips thrusting up and down.

"So quick!"

"Takumi!?"

"You're right that _was_ gross." She spits. "Never again. Something squirted into my mouth, disgusting. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You wouldn't stop."

"Takumi are you doing something under the bed sheets?"

 _He watched and it had no impact! First, she didn't react right, then he didn't react right! I really don't understand people… Now it was all for nothing. This feud just went up a level. We need to have a full duel, he's clearly more twisted than me, that had no effect, he definitely has no care for this girl._ He glares at Shirakawa, his blood is boiling. _How can he be so shameless!?_

"Gosh give me a minute to finish, we can't all be as fast as you."

"She took me by surprise give me a break, I've never been..."

"Dominated before?"

 _A particularly, sexual person…_ He says nothing, because he needs to avoid saying something that could ruin their friendship. He clenches his teeth together until his jaw creaks, resisting the urge to hit him. He has never been the violent type but he's on edge to the point where he could say or do anything.

"She really got the better of you there, you'll probably think twice before you- Ah~"

"Just stop before I puke, you've got no shame Takumi."

"At least I'm not exposing myself, unlike some people." Kurosaki pulls his bottoms up.

"Yeah, and speaking of which, how did you manage to get so turned on, she hasn't even taken her clothes off. You were just watching me the whole time. What are you, some kind of gay?"

"So what if I am!" He gets up and slams the door behind him.

"Now look what you've done." She shoves Kurosaki and runs to the door.

"Don't ever come back in here, you dirty girl."

"You really love to alienate people don't you?" She chases after Shirakawa.

"Wait, he didn't mean to insult you, he probably only made fun of you because you embarrassed him. He started picking on me too as soon as you left."

"I wouldn't call being called gay an insult, it's not a bad thing."

"Oops, that's not what I meant."

"Why did you do what he told you?"

"I wanted to."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Sometimes he just has this way. You know? How he speaks and looks at you like you're nothing."

"Yeah~" He takes her hand and directs her to sit down in the common area.

"I don't know, how low down that makes me, but sometimes it sets my heart racing."

"Exactly."

"He bit my ear and I never thought that'd feel… The way it did."

"When was this?"

"In the classroom a bit ago."

"Kyaa~"

"Even remembering it makes me feel funny! And then when he's suddenly soft and kind! It confuses my head, I want to do what he says sometimes and I don't care why he's asking or if it's really stupid. He got mad me for doing what I was told for the first time. I'm not sure if I didn't know how to process that in the moment or if I didn't care anymore. Once my mind was made I… I wanted to stand up to him, but I also kind of wanted to know what would happen. I've never been able to disobey him without him punishing me before. I think I might have got the better of him somehow."

"He was definitely more upset when you finished than when you started. He doesn't know what he wants… There's a chance he wanted to tease and torment you, but to ask you to do that and not be pleased when you agree..."

"It's because he wasn't in control, I suspect. Me saying yes took his power away. He's surprisingly weak. I don't know if I can dig it."

"What did you just say?"

"Sorry, I may look young but I'm not really down with the kids."

"So this is what years of social isolation can do to a person?"

"Away from the topic of me and my past, please! He's so arrogant, yet so timid, secretly. I'm both intrigued and disappointed. "

"You don't know what he's like. He's always been a man of few words, quick to anger, yet gentle by nature. You've seen it right. The music, the life saving, the eco-friendliness. He just can't express himself in a dignified way. I really didn't think you were the type to do that, I'm sure he had no intention of going through with it. You really don't know how to read a room."

"Wait why are you crying?"

"I'm not, what are you talking about?"

"Here take a tissue."

"Thanks." He dries his eyes and blows his nose really unattractively.

"You're not supposed to do that in front of people."

"I thought I knew you well enough..." He rolls away from her and curls up defensively. "I don't have a single ally. First him, now you." She instinctively rubs his back and changes the tone of her voice.

"What's the matter."

"Everything,"

"Tell me exactly."

"No."

"Come on now."

"Leave me alone."

"I can't do that."

"Just leave me here to die, it's what I want."

"Stop being childish and tell me what is wrong with you."

"Why should I trust you?"

"You complain about being without allies and now this. I really will leave you." She starts to walk away.

"Fine. I'm heartbroken."

"Sorry, you know I would never have done that in front of you intentionally. I don't even know what the big deal is."

"Wow you really are innocent, you didn't expect anything to come out or have any idea why he called you cheap."

"What? They don't show it on TV or in school textbooks… I've never really had any friends or anything, I just thought It was one of his weird tasks to wear me down _and_ I was under his spell… That tone in his voice was a lot more..."

"Commanding right? Totally hypnotic and alluring, it got me right- No, errm where were we?"

"Then the pleading just wouldn't work on me, it just didn't register somehow. I was a bit mad at him when it was over, but then he was mad at me and now you are. I still can't read a room, you're right, but it's not as if I've had practice."

"Do you think he hates me."

"Why would he?"

"I slammed the door and left but he hasn't come looking and that means he doesn't care."

"Whatever the significance of that thing I did was, lead to you being the one who's hurt, he's got no business feeling sorry for himself and no excuse for lashing out like that."

"Leave him alone."

"Wow, you really are best friends! I respect that loyalty, to the point where I don't feel rejected _at_ _all_ , isn't that odd?"

"..."

"Don't cry again, what did I say? It's not as if me not feeling rejected means I don't appreciate your feelings, trust me. When I got that text, I wanted to kill whoever sent it, so long was it wasn't you or, everyone else, but him. I don't know what came over me, I can't explain it, but even if I could you probably wouldn't understand. He just got to me..."

"I know, he does that. In your mind, you want to hate him, but it your heart you can't because he controls it somehow, I still don't know how he does it, it's not even as if there's a perfect mixture of nice and nasty, there's definitely an imbalance."

"Yeah, yeah! You do get it, I thought I was mad for getting sucked in. I'm sure I don't actually like him as a person, or maybe that's just a natural reaction to him punishing me all the time… Oh no, do you think I went ahead with it with the intention of hurting him as revenge or something? He's always grabbing me and biting my ear and acting like he owns me maybe it was instinctive to try and take him over and make him feel powerless for once."

"So you don't like him?"

"Him? No. He's a daemon, compared to you."

 _She doesn't know what she did so, I'll leave it at that._

"Good, try not to go into our room at night again."

"I can't see myself wanting to do that anytime soon." He hugs her.

"You forgive me?"

"What is there to forgive?"

"I broke your heart."

"I suppose he was right about you getting full of yourself."

"What? Didn't I?"

"Not that I can remember."

"Are you putting on a convincing act where you pretend something embarrassing never happened?"

"Not really."

"Why did you cry."

"I said I didn't."

"Are you saying if I touch the tissues, you thoughtlessly put on the coffee table, they won't be wet?"

"I blew my nose. Gosh!"

"You're not convincing me, whatever you have to say, I'll support you."

"I can't get my feelings hurt at this point, Kurosaki-kun is so evil and you've met my old classmates."

"I don't stand to gain anything from telling you why, so we can end this conversation right here. You wanted him to be quick, which he was, tee hee! And here we are, still awake."

"I don't get the joke."

"I know you don't." He pats her head condescendingly and walks away."

"Your bedroom is that way."

"I know."

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

"It's past curfew."

"I'm going to smoke."

"You don't smoke."

"I just keep it a secret to keep up the prince facade."

"You don't have any pockets."

"I'll buy some."

"Which brings me back to the fact that you haven't got any pockets. You've never smoked in your life have you?"

"I'll take it up."

"Where are you really going?"

"I need to see my mum."

"She's not in the country."

"Are you the kind of person that listens to _everything_ someone tells you?"

"Is there any other kind?"

"Then you actually remember it all."

"I try my best."

"You really are a sweet girl. "

 _Now I know what he sees in you._ He starts to pick up speed and runs away with his hands over his eyes.

"Stop you're breaking the rules and being extra reckless."

"Leave me alone, do you really think I can go back to a room with _him_ in it?"

"It's where your bed is, do you really have a choice? Unless you want to share my room."

"This is another one of those times that if Kuro was here he'd call you cheap. Think carefully before you speak and act, it's a dangerous world we live in and you're a lot more oblivious to that than I thought."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a boy and you're a girl."

"So?"

"It's indecent."

"How?"

"Do you have any idea how bad it would look for me to be leaving your room in the morning?"

"People will think your lifelong friendship is over?"

"Even I'm finding it hard to not see you as cute right now. Kuro is not the only one with a special charm."

"Thanks."

"And now you're blushing at such a small thing, you really are a hopeless case, aren't you? I didn't teach you nearly enough when we pretended to be together last time, I'm sorry. There's more to this business than hugging and kissing. "

 _I won't tell you any more to stop you from feeling ashamed. I know what all the fuss is about now… You truly are a worthy adversary and to be brave enough to stand up to him! I commend you… Stop tearing up, myself! I just wanted to sit still until the sun came up and cry alone, but she's too persistent to let me. I like her for that and I can see where Kuro's infatuation comes from. She really is something. It makes me feel even more worthless. Yet, nothing she does can make me dislike her…_ He drops to his knees almost in defeat and sobs uncontrollably. Yuu rushes over.

"I can't stand to have you see me like this, I'm supposed to be a man, or so I've been told… I tried to get away from you so I could break down in private but you're just so great."

 _I am such a wanted woman! It's crazy, this school has both changed and ruined my life. I've never been a 'slave' before, but people get jealous of me and the two cutest boys around are fighting over me. I won't let it make me conceited… I'll only be full of myself when Kurosaki-kun gets on my nerves._

"I know I can't compete with you."

"You don't have to compete for me, just say the word and I'll do anything for you. You're my favourite because you're kinder. Stop crying."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I thought you listened to people properly, something is distracting you from what I've been saying, don't tell me you're _actually_ getting full of yourself."

"No, just tell me why you're crying."

"It's because of you."

"What about me, I said I'm here for you."

"You're in my way."

"Sorry, I can't let you leave for the night, I'll help you settle back into your room with Kurosaki-kun if it kills me, especially since you're so against joining me in mine."

"I don't think you're mature enough to understand my feelings so, just go."

"I can't."

"You did this to him and now me, won't you learn your lesson. Stop pressuring me."

"You said you wanted to die, how can I be responsible for you, if I leave you alone?"

"No one asked you to be responsible."

 _I think I can't take any more of this niceness… She's probably too good for Kuro, I thought she was the lucky one, but If he can get her to like him he is, though I suspect he'll have to stop being so harsh… Why am I planning a future for them!? What about me?… Do they just suit each other that well? No, all they ever do is argue and as for Kuro, how could a love interest make a person so angry, all the time… Nothing is going to be the same after tonight. We may not even be friends…_ He lays face down on the floor, defeated.

"Get up."

"Leave me be."

"Do you really want to be in everyone's way in the morning? They won't just step over you, they'll stop and ask you questions. Do you really want every girl in the school to be asking you about your secrets?" He says nothing. "You're suddenly so rude. I thought you were meant to be the kind one we're having a complete role reversal, Kurosaki-kun, timid, me, confident and you, rude. This is all because of what I did, isn't it? Tell me about it, and what I did wrong. There's no use getting upset with me if you don't explain it." She pulls on his arm and he just lies there, waiting for her to tire herself out. "There's something really wrong because you're never like this. You're scaring me."

"Do you want to play _that_ game again?"

"Not if it hurts you."

"I'll tell you the problem if you play and the condition is that you don't question me or call me weird."

"Ok."

"I cried because he chose you."

"Over who?"

"Over me."

"Eh?"

"What?"

"When did he ever make such a decision?"

"I don't know. Probably from the first time he kissed you."

"You're still friends, right?"

"Who knows."

"He's got nothing to be mad at you for. That's was just banter, wasn't it? He's probably sleeping right now."

"Unless the thoughts of you getting out of his control are making him sick with worry. There's never space in his head to think about me."

"Don't cry again, it's just a petty quarrel I never knew you were so sensitive."

"Well excuse me for having feelings."

"Ok, you really care about Kurosaki-kun and you think you've lost him to me?"

"I know I have, just this time don't tell him it's a game I need time to work out, what is going to happen between us. I don't know if we can have the same room after all this."

"You're exaggerating."

"Do I have to spell everything out do you."

"If you have explained something that I don't really get, then probably."

"I'm… I'm… No, I can't say this."

"No game then."

"You're so heartless, I need him to think we're together."

"Why?"

"Because I'm in love with him!" He quickly covers his mouth. "I'm mean, I'm not, well I am but I didn't mean… I've never said that out loud before."

"You love him?"

"Unfortunately yes. I love everything about him, how aggressive he is, how cruel he can be, his shyness, his caringness, how passionate he can be, his quietness, his unashamedness, his rare smile and the fact it's always related to something awful, his-"

"So you're gay, for real?"

"I said no questions."

"I'm in your game now and if we're in a couple I can ask you questions."

"I just told you the biggest secret of my life and you won't give me a break." Yuu thinks carefully about how to phrase her next question so it's not a question.

"I thought you liked me."

"I was only doing that to stop you from liking him, so he could be mine. Haven't you noticed that the whole time you've been here I've never paid any attention to a single other girl."

"There is the girl you confessed to."

"That was just a lie I told myself. There were always three of us until we started at this school and I was almost convinced my heart beat faster when we were together, 'because she was there' I was always happy when we were together, 'because of her'. I must have known deep down, that I was doing it because she liked him too and I wanted to make her think I'd be too jealous if she chose him. I would be but she didn't need to know why, also I couldn't explain myself. He's never had a romantic interest in his life so, he can't express his feeling for you in a positive way. I know that so while you dislike him more and more that's not his intention."

"You say he chose me over you but he's never had an opportunity to make a choice because you never told him."

"I can't. It might ruin the friendship. I like being with him and teasing him even if it involved me pretending to compete with him over you. He just wants you to be his in slave terms because he doesn't know he wants you for himself romantically. Then there's me an outsider, just getting in the way of his happiness for my own selfish reasons."

"Ooh! Now I know why you slammed the door and left."

"I'm glad you finally caught on." She hugs him and helps him up off the floor.

"Sorry for getting in your way and being too full of myself to listen to you."

"I didn't mean to be critical, it just came out, I'm aching inside so much. He's never asked if I was gay before, I can't lie. But the consequences could mean a lot. He knows what I was doing underneath the covers and we freely do a lot of things in front of each other that we couldn't do in front of you."

"Like what?"

"Like changing clothes and so on. I don't know if he… But if he does he's got the decency to wait till I'm asleep, but I'm appreciative either way. If you catch my drift."

"I don't. Let's go back to bed I've got a test plus I've got to get up early to meet Meiko."

"'Let's go'!?" They hear a girl snarl.

"Akabane! What do you think you're doing, taking the nation's prince to bed?" Another girl says

"You sinful girl." She makes a spitting sound to display her disgust.

"What? It's his bed."

"It front of Kurosaki-kun? You've got a lot of nerve."

 _Where else is he supposed to sleep?_ Yuu is very confused about why they're angry.

"Just leave her alone girls, you're not showing your best side at all. Just because the dark anonymises you, it doesn't mean you can be heartless. Get your mind out of the gutter, that sort of thing wouldn't even cross her mind, it's actually quite shocking, actually, I can tell you for a fact that she doesn't know what you're talking about right now."

"Eh?"

"See? I'm the dorm head. Is it so hard to believe that I would console one of my wards the night before a test?"

"No."

"Since you're so kind."

"I'll be around tomorrow then."

"You're welcome to but I will know who you are and report you for making up rumours about me."

"Ok, good grief.

"Since when were you so rude?"

 _Since he got his heart broken…_

"Have a pleasant night ladies." They are left alone again and Yuu is shocked.

"How did you think so fast?" She starts to walk towards his room without giving him chance to argue.

"I don't know."

"Do you think you'll ever tell him?"

"No."

"Do you want him to know?"

"No."

"Do you want him to love you back."

"Yes."

"How will you achieve that without the first two?"

"It's almost as if you want us to get together."

"No, I just want to see him smile."

"You care that _he's_ happy, he doesn't care about anyone."

"No he cares a lot more than you'd think, actually a lot more than most people do."

"You're ok with giving him up?"

"I was never into him."

"But that spell you were talking about..."

"That temporary lapse in judgement you mean?"

"You like me then?"

"I like the idea of you, a handsome charming boy that everyone is jealous of, but I wouldn't be able to help but feel inadequate and as a result, we'd never be secure."

"So no one ever likes me... He's the one that draws people to me."

"You've got all those girls at your beck and call."

"Because they like my face, they don't know me. Some see me and him as interchangeable, others see me as a bit better and the rest aren't interested in me at all."

"Wow, so we both have complexes then? I think this journey to giving you happiness will be both a learning curve and a bonding opportunity."

"I like you more and more, the more honest time we have it's better than putting up that front and desperately trying to woo you so you leave Kuro alone..."

"It's time to go in."

"On second thoughts I'll sleep with you."

"You'll sleep with who, now?" Kurosaki says as he opens the door.

"He really hears everything!"

"What have you been saying to him, you unloyal girl." He grabs her hair.

"Don't touch my girl's hair."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll fight you."

"Let's do it." He pushes Yuu into the hallway. "Try not to lose this time, I'm still waiting for the day you beat me at something."

"What did you just say!?" Yuu pushes her way back into the room and tries to stop them.

"Come on guys settle down"

"You tell him."

"No, you tell _him_."

"How old are you two supposed to be anyway. I shouldn't have to stop you from having a fist fight at four o'clock in the morning, now behave before I make you behave." They both listen. "Now, let's resolve this in the morning and if I hear one more peep out of you two you've had it."

"Ok."

"Kurosaki-kun."

"What?"

"Agree that you'll leave him alone."

"Why are you protecting him."

"I'm not I'm just preventing a fight."

"You say that but you're starting on me."

"Because you're being stubborn, I don't know what you've got to be so worked up about. Do you know how heartbroken he is right now, he was cr-"

"That's enough, Yuu-chan."

"I wanna hear the end of this story, Takumi."

"Well I don't want you to, just drop the subject. I'm not playing with you. This is why I didn't want to come back."

"Just be nice to each other, ok? You know you love each other."

"Me, love him, don't make me laugh, I only just tolerate him." Shirakawa, rolls over and bites his pillow to muffle the sobs.

 _It's really over… The peace we used to have between us… I'll never get it back._ Yuu wants to hug him, pat his, back kiss his forehead and tell him it'll all be ok, but she knows Kurosaki wouldn't get it, not without explanation.

"I know you don't mean what you say and it's probably linked to jealousy but you need to stop blaming him and consider being nicer."

"I don't have any desired to be liked, I won't pretend to be nice."

"I know you're trying do protect yourself but there's no uses trying to hide the good inside you, we already know about it. There's no use trying to act cool."

"Just leave the room, you shameless girl."

"I'm going. Goodnight." Shirakawa says nothing.

"Goodnight Akabane."

"She's finally gone now we can fight."

"..."

"I'm only joking. I'm too tired, just tell me when exactly you woke up."He clears his throat and takes a big gulp.

"Immediately."

"You saw it all… How incredibly uncool I was throughout the whole thing."

"Umhm."

"Well, that's the way it happened it's not as if I can deny it now. I'm sorry about how on edge I was I was so embarrassed, you're my best friend and I respect you more than anyone, I didn't even know if I could look you in the eye after that, then I found out you saw it all, I was so completely utterly mortified that I totally lost the plot. It didn't even last a minute for crying out loud and she was the one completely controlling me. I was angry at myself for initiating such a thing and that seems to have manifested itself as anger at you for watching the most humiliating moment of my life. Of course, it didn't take much for me to have that outburst I'm over it now, I think."

"..."

"Oi, Don't just sit there in silence giving me one-word answers and sounds. I'm self-deprecating here, you're supposed to laugh and forgive me then we can forget it all ever happened."

"..."

"What on earth? You're not getting away with giving me the silent treatment." Kurosaki gets out of bed and tears the blanket off him.

"You're crying?"

"..."

Stop your snivelling." He takes a deep breath and makes a sincere attempt to stop crying, but he can't.

"You must really like that girl, I haven't seen you cry in about eight years, I'll back right off. You won't get any more grief from me. I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologising, this isn't like you."

"This isn't you."

"It's not like you'd know, you've never paid any attention to me before today. We only ever compete and you've never had to try… Don't tell me, that's because you never considered me as any form of competition."

"I have never wanted anything that you wanted and couldn't get."

"I treated her well, right? I thought if I made her smile as often as I could she'd like me, but it still wasn't good enough… Nevermind, now that I think of it I was only ever in her company when I was being underhanded, using bribes and false pretences to get her to even so much as give me a second look. I was cheating to win and still failed."

"I can't believe you think you lost."

"I can't believe that girl, strutting around this room like she owns the place… We've all changed a bit. Maybe it's a good thing. I know I shouldn't have asked her to come in here, but in my imagination, she'd shriek, leave, then you'd wake up, then you'd ask how it got to this point then I'd make you feel like you were losing, that's it. If I knew it meant that much, I wouldn't have been so cruel. What woke you up, our voices? I was arguing a lot."

"It was when the door opened."

"So there was nothing left to your imagination, you know exactly how much time elapsed."

"Not in seconds and minutes or should I say minute, but I've got the jist."

"She was totally silent with the door."

"The air pressure of the room changed, what?"

"You're so sensitive, water temperature, air pressure, you need to stop crying it's not going to make her like you anymore. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were actually gay." Shirakawa cries louder. "Not that I'd have a problem with that… I'll stop being politically incorrect, though I didn't think it mattered behind closed doors, especially when I don't mean anything by it. Cheer up, you're making me sad now and I'm the humiliated one. She chose you. Don't worry. I won't get in your way. I can't stand to see you like this… Well, I'm so humiliated right now, I'm past the point of acting like I don't need a hug. I'm getting in bed with you, ok? This is your last chance to hit me for making you cry or tell me to leave you alone. It's not as if I've got any dignity left, there's nothing for me to hide either… All these years of knowing you... Until now, I was able to keep an air of mystery, you might be the person I'm closest to at this school, but you didn't really know me. There's no way you could respect me now."

 _Whether this is provocation or begging, I don't want to hear it. He never lets his guard down and we're in close proximity every single day. Opening up is slightly less attractive._ Shirakawa turns onto his stomach and puts a pillow over his head.

 _I can't tell if he wants me to forgive him or get mad at him…_

"I don't know what it is about you being upset that makes you undeniably more adorable." Shirakawa ignores him. "Just a little bit. There's something about you… Maybe it's just that I am attracted to pain… Surely you don't think I've got the patience or compassion to have pity on you… As cruel as it is I just want to exploit you." He pats Shrirakawa's head and walks away.

 _And he brought in back to being menacing... In a way slightly too roundabout for my liking. That seemed kind of affectionate… Was he just phrasing it that way to keep up his image of being unpleasant? After all, I did reject him when he said he was just trying to make me feel better… It was all threats… I was getting so excited, I just didn't want to admit to liking him… I hope I won't live to regret this. But I'm still mad at him! He's not the affectionate type, the whole time I've known him have we ever touched!? Was that head pat the extent of it. I should call him back. No… I refuse to take advantage of him at his lowest._ Kurosaki is laying face down on the pillow, prioritising blocking out the world over breathing _Did he just get into bed without saying good night? Is that a cry for help. I don't know if we can recover from this. If I ignore him he might never try anything again! I need to say something, so he'll know I'm interested. I'm not trying to achieve anything besides avoiding conflict and losing what could potentially be something… If I handle it right. I just need a way to pretend to not be interested but also not convince him I'm interested. My approach so far has made him more caring but it also pushed him away. He likes to be a trouble causer but lately, he refuses to cause trouble, because in his brief, but recent experience it's not fun to be the other person. Cruelty works, but being serious doesn't, since he believes me. He wanted to make amends and I was too in shock to respond properly. If I allow our friendship to break down it will be my fault because he doesn't know where he stands with me anymore or why I got so mad. From his switch to silence I can tell he's really feeling some emotions_. Kurosaki turns onto his back and closes his eyes, but he can't stop thinking. He even plays angsty trap music at full volume but the thoughts keep-a-coming.

 _My best friend hates me and I couldn't say anything to redeem myself… When was the last time he spoke to me? We've never had a physical fight before and I caused it all… I need to correct this somehow… But my words just keep coming out wrong. Why can't I be nice? Or compassionate? I never wanted to be but maybe at times when I make someone cry it could come in handy. I've always been this mean, if not meaner, no one cried. What changed? I don't know how to stop my tongue, I just keep getting it wrong. Him being mad at me makes me mad at him, so I can't make him feel better…_ He opens one eye and sees Shirakawa still inconsolable. He puts the headphones on his bedside table and the melancholy sound of Xxx Tentacion bleeds through the silence in the room causing Shirakawa to tense in anticipation of the further onslaught of insults, or worse forgiveness seeking. He gets out of bed and steps towards his friend then turns back then walks towards then goes back an get under the covers. Kurosaki puts away the headphones. Soundcloud rappers just can't save him from the torment today. He lays on top of the duvet and stares at the ceiling for all of ten seconds then gets up an tries to resolve the situation again. He's really determined this time and gets all the way over to the bed where he freezes an just looks at Shirakawa's quivering shoulders.

 _This is why I never liked people they're so hard to understand and even harder to fix… I can't help but take responsibility… I wish there was an off button for this guilt… That doesn't involve my lame people skills. How do I approach this? I can't speak to him… After all I said today, so much I can't take back and so much I admitted to. Are we still friends? I'm not saying anything else. Then what?_ He clenches his fists willing his body to spontaneously do something that fixes the situation. He gets into Shirakawa bed and hugs him. They lay together quietly and when poor Kurosaki doesn't get the instant forgiveness he hoped for he has to open his mouth, yet again.

"See I'm open minded and you've barely got any muscle tone so I can let my imagination run wild. I won't let it, don't worry. Come on, I'm teasing you it's supposed to raise your spirits. I don't not love you, you know? I've never held anyone as close as this before it's quite comforting. You're nice and warm and you fit quite nicely. You're slender then you've got that little round behind, your appeal is probably a cute one. That's something you've got that I haven't. I'm just the cruel looking one… There's no way she can like a person that works her like a dog."

"You have got appeal."

"A cold and heartless one perhaps."

"You've got that personality of yours."

"The me that always shouts or the me when I'm by myself, slash with you."

"The hidden one. It's like when no one but me tried to look at your face because of all that hair. If you keep your good points to yourself no one will appreciate them."

"Either way I'm not changing for anyone. I can't be asked."

"I'm not asking you to do anything." Shirakawa finally has the courage to turn over and look at Kurosaki. He lightly kisses him on his lips. "What do you think you're doing!?" He pushes him away a little bit too slowly to give an impression of being repulsed. Kurosaki doesn't know what he did wrong.

"It's the only way I know to make people shu- To cheer people up and-"

"You're not an affectionate person."

"I just wanted to make you feel like you mattered."

"You can take your pity and get away from me."

 _Doesn't he understand the romantic implications of a kiss? Does that mean he doesn't have any special feelings for Yuu-chan? See now he's still messing with my head he enjoys being cruel, so I won't let him see it._

"But-"

"I don't want your sympathy."

"That'll teach me to try to be nice."

"Don't make this about you."

"I wasn't trying to. You've obviously got some sort of complex."

"Just leave me alone I won't forgive you for what you put me through today."

"You seemed to be enjoying it well enough."

"I can't believe you expect me to accept all this as a little joke and not react."

"I didn't mean it."

"I don't care. Don't try to make me feel anything ever again. I've got half a mind to take Yuu-chan up on her offer, it's not as if she'd like you if she heard you kissed me."

"Don't be like that. What do you want from me?"

"To be left alone."

"That's a shame since this is my room too." Shirakawa lets out an exasperated sigh and sobs again. Kurosaki takes that was a signal to stop being mean. "Please cheer up, I can't stand to see you like this."

"But you wanted to hurt me didn't you?"

"Nothing was supposed to happen, I was just teasing you."

"Well, it wasn't funny."

"I know that… Now."

 _He's got no remorse he's only bothered that I'm treating him differently._

"I would've said something like, 'I don't know why she crept into our room at night', 'that's not the kind of relationship we have, we're master and slave, I don't know what you've been telling her but that's as far as it goes.' It would've been funny to me because it would have made you feel insecure, but I didn't think it'd bother you that much, pull yourself together."

"I've lost you…"

"It's not the first time you've lost to me, I thought you were more resilient than that."

"You don't get it and you don't have to try to. You like to be isolated, you've never cared what anyone thought of you even when the whole school was scared of you. But I'm so lonely, no one knows what I feel like. I've got to be nice or I'll be hated, you never have to try and it's not as if I don't get rejected anyway. Not counting the people in my family, all I've ever had is unrequited love. It's not that my family get a choice or if they hesitated to send me to a school where they wouldn't have to see me ever day. Come to think of it. No one wants me, all I am to my parents is as a successor they don't actually know me. They just know what I can do for them."

"Ah, your life's hard, so I should just stop making it harder and just let you treat me however you want?"

"Did I say that?"

"Can you just chill out, I don't know what to say anymore."

"Just stop talking then."

"We can't end the night this way."

"Goodnight."

"You hate me."

"You can't control people, they won't follow a script that only exists in your mind. Your plan worked, I'm unhappy, take you're little victory and leave me be."

"I'm unhappy too."

"What do you want? My sympathy? It's your fault."

"That's not what I'm trying to say, I've never been intimate with anyone before."

 _It's not as if I didn't know that, we've been friends since day one I've known him for as long as I can remember..._

"What!? Now you've got a thirst for it?"

"I'd argue back and say I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but I did. I really wish you wouldn't be so critical of me right now. I'm confessing everything."

"What are you trying to justify, that lightning quick speed of yours?"

"I'm just trying to tell you that I didn't want her to _cheat_ on you I just wanted you to think she wanted to."

 _That's so cruel, if he thinks I care about Yuu…_ _Romantically!_

"So you want me to feel sorry for you, because you ended up being the victim of your own prank!? 'Oooh poor me, a girl gave me oral when I set out to wreck my best friend's emotions.'"

"I can't talk to you when you're like this. How many times do I have to say I'm sorry and how many more ways can I humble myself. I know you blame me but-"

"I don't want to hear it. Let me guess, you would have pranked me earlier but you took so long to-"

"Please stop."

"Get it up, that you had to go to sleep and wake up with one, because you've got no idea how to control it."

"I at least had an idea." Shirakawa laughs.

"And your idea is why you wake up at six am and read Kaku Michio books while you wait for it to go away?"

"Can't I appreciate his work? He proved creation! Not intentionally but he was hypothesising and worked out it's basically that and or a multiverse. Can't you see that entropy is inevitable, but life exists it spite of those incontestable principles? Molecules should not come together in an ordered way, they should be randomly spread until they're are evenly distributed. The Miller-urey experiment even tried to replicate the conditions of early Earth and all they could create were organic compounds. Did you know th-"

"Go be nerdy somewhere else! I don't like you right now."

"But I'm-"

"I don't know how you expected me to act even if it all went to plan. Would you have begged for my forgiveness straight after that too?"

"Is it because I said you were gay? I meant that-"

"The word gay is not a synonym for bad, in fact it's a homonym for the synonym for the word happy."

 _He's really done it now…_ Shirakawa grumbles under his breath and bumps Kurosaki onto the floor with his knee.

 _What the heck did he just say? Language isn't my strength and he's not giving me time to speak I can't even put words together let alone explain my slip up..._

"I'm not trying to be hostile, I just-" He looks up at the furious Shirakawa and trails off into silence.

 _Want someone to hug me and care about how I feel, I'm always the bad guy and I don't try to be but it's just the image I have, compared to you because we're opposites. You look so angelic, but you're more heartless than me or is it because my mean features can't convey my internal pain. If I knew how to treat the people I care about, this never would have happened. I know affection and cruelty aren't the same, but I only have recollections of being treated with one of them. So now it's what I do. Even a kiss isn't enough. What else to regular people do? No one has ever hugged me but if they did, I'd know why I want one so badly. I know my parents were mean because they loved me and they pay private tuition because they care… That I was never at home in the daytime because I'd only do well if excelled at music and sport, the extra tutoring alone wouldn't set me apart, it was not because they didn't want to see me. It was because if I'm the best candidate there is, life will be easier. They wouldn't have thought so carefully about my future if I didn't matter to them. Grandma never lies, I don't know why I have to keep telling myself that, but she did say if my hair grew a centimetre out of my mother's specified parametres, she would notice. I believe she would have, if I'd seen her since I got told that. Now I really need to call her. She won't pick up, I'm still waiting for the reply to the letter I sent when I first started this boarding school. It was to thank her for the grand piano she sent. I need to go home and tell her. She's probably still waiting for a thank you, if it didn't get lost on the way, it must have! Or I forgot to address the letter to her. She will not read a letter that doesn't start with 'Dear Mrs Kurosaki' I probably got too excited and wrote 'Hi mum.' Idiot! She wouldn't ever reply to such vulgar wording. My dad would answer, It's probably still daytime in Berlin, or at least the evening. Then he'd want to know why I'm calling out of the blue. My sister! Nah, there's no comfort to be found in my sister, nor my best friend, nor my slave. How can I call her that? I need to stop being so controlling. But then how will my mother find anything to criticise about me? I'm better than all of my peers at everything and considering the standard of this school it sets an ok guideline for what the rest of the country will do. Maybe I should write a letter of apology about the first one and tell her I passed the centre exam. I have to be humble, she wouldn't like me to show off. It's just one more exam now. I need to ignore the requests from Keio an Waseda or she'll say I'm planning for failure. Why won't Takumi let me have one other friend? If he let me have Akabane Yuu to myself I could have talked to her now, wait! This agony is because of her. But if she accepted my affection as soon as I gave it to her, she would not treat me like this. I need to stop kissing people they don't like it any more than they like my grumpiness. I can't give up on him. I need to-_

"Get up off my floor. I know I didn't hurt you, stop trying to gain sympathy. I'm not sorry I pushed you if I wake up and you're still there I will not hesitate to step on you. Get up! It's one thing to be shocked, but I can't settle with you down there. Get up before I kick you on to your side of the room."

"..."

"Five, four, three, two, one."

"..."

"Get up and walk."

"Do it."

"No they were just threats, I wanted to hurry you up."

"I deserve it."

"I only knocked you on to the floor because I was mad, it was a heat of the moment thing. I didn't think you'd go down. You don't fight back at all. What? Was tonight your first experience of anyone ever being rough with you? It's a taste of your own medicine and it's not nice is it?"

"Oh? So I was supposed to be scared of you then?" He asks with sincere confusion.

"Are you trying to be funny with me?"

"No, sir."

"That's what I thought now walk yourself right back into that bed of yours. Or we can settle this right here and now, the old fashioned way, no more competing or underhanded tricks."

He hangs his head in anguish and traipses back to his own bed.

 _What if he climbed on top of me and- No! Get that thought out of your head. We're in a fight. But I would love it if he held me. That would mean I hadn't l_ os _t him to her. He didn't seem at all happy with her actions. How could he like her now? I know it didn't go to plan for him, but he needs to have a long hard think about what he tried to do to me. I know he has no experience of romance and he has probably never… At least I've never seen him try. It must have not only taken a lot of nerve to pull that prank. She wasn't even the target, I was for how I treated her like a prize in a game. Could he be as hurt from seeing me use her as I am from seeing her use him! And he doesn't know that I'm trying to keep them apart for the sake of love, not sport? He's the warmonger, but am I being too cruel. Ah! Why did I reject him? Because playfulness grosses me out? Because I want to be the suportee, not the supporter? He puts on this act as if he's the sort to want to do that, but I think he respects her more than that, of course, her actions upset him. He's not raunchy like that. She tainted the image he had of her. Every trace of anger in his body was probably heartbreak. I want to cheer him up but it's too late. I never wanted him to need me. I don't know if I can stand to see that. If he cried, I don't know if I could ever look at him the same way again. He won't, he don't even make a sound when I pushed him. I wish I could take it back. I didn't even give him a chance to say anything offensive before I attacked him. Tomorrow, I'll say sorry. It's absolutely abhorrent for me to lay here and let him think he deserved this. He probably doesn't know what he said. Now I need him to forgive me, but it won't take much. I could charm the leaves off a tree. Plus he seems to want my forgiveness, so wait? I can just forgive him and make it seem like I'm a nice person. He trusts me way too much. Or I could use this position to my advantage… He is undeniably eager to please me..._

"You probably don't think this is the worst thing you've ever done, but it is… And because you don't understand that, I'll give you a chance to make it up to me. I'm sure in the eyes of the law they would consider human enslavement worse but between us two it is the worst. It will probably take quite a bit of time for me to forgive you but you'll be nice to me from now, right?"

"I'll try."

"Kuro."

"It's not in my nature."

"Then just listen to what I say and I teach you how to treat me."

"Like I said I'll try."

"Promise to do your best."

"I'll do my best now, you can come back to my bed if you like."

"Really? I feel so guilty now, I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight."

"Don't be guilty, I'll help you to relax." He gets in and they lay face to face.

"Is there something about you being the good guy that makes you warmer than me?"

"Yes, evil people have cold blood."

"Since when?"

"It's a metaphor, my bed is just nearer to the radiator." He flicks his forehead and laughs at him. Kurosaki tries to manoeuvre to hug him.

"Ow! Don't roll on my arm, for Pete's sake." Kurosaki buts foreheads with him. "What are you trying to do?"

"This." He envelops him in a chilled embrace. Shirakawa quickly untucks his arms from Kurosaki's grasp and places them on his face before deeply kissing him.

"Wait a minute now, no one's ever put their tongue in my mouth before. I hope you brushed your teeth."

"I did."

"Good, now do that again." They kiss passionately for a while and Kurosaki stops them. "I think that's quite a good way to resolve an argument, I don't feel any resentment towards you at all. I can't believe you tried it. You know I'm not the affectionate type."

"I can see the progress though, you're almost like a person now."

"I am a person."

"You were?"

"The whole time."

"Get out of town."

"It's not funny." Shirakawa giggles and he starts to slip out of the bed sheets.

"It's not bedtime yet."

"It's past bedtime."

"Stay."

"Ok, but can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Why do you get to be the one that storms off, gets offended and gets the girl?"

"Because I wouldn't be your friend if you betrayed me like that."

"I don't understand you, I would never let your happiness be a problem for me."

"I just don't want to lose you, I've always been the closest person to you."

"You still can be."

"No, I can't. I can't be closer to you than her, she sees all that I see and I'm sure she feels the same..."

 _Love, no, she was more lusty than loving, she can't start to like him because of the torture...Only her body responds positively to him._

"What she feels like she could lose me to you? Don't think like that Takumi, she doesn't want anything to do with me, she probably just did what she did to punish me for asking."

"Well it's done now that's one step to being closer to you than me, I can't compete with that."

"You don't have to compete, you're in completely different categories."

"We shouldn't be."

"You wouldn't want to-"

"Don't tell me what I want"

"Who are you and what have you done with the rational Takumi I know and may or may not love?"

"Tell me you love me."

 _In the dark lying entwined, face to face on the night you choses to cross the line and kiss me. It's too romantic and that's not the type of relationship we have. Or is it?_

"Don't try and leave again. There doesn't have to be any romance between us but it'd be nice."

"Eh?"

"I didn't think you saw me like that. Such is the path I have been cursed to-"

"Whatever. I'm going back to sleep."

"No one has ever liked me."

"Stop being dramatic you can't manipulate me with a sob story like her, I know you and the fact that-"

"You think you know me, but you don't, you don't know anything."

"Again with the crying, you're getting on my nerves."

"You're too gloomy and self-absorbed to see that anyone other than you is-"

"Oops, I didn't mean to let that slip I've never been one to regulate what I say. I always thought you were equally as insensitive as me."

 _I'm only sensitive when you play with my heart…._

"No, I'm a master wordsmith I know how to be polite and charming even if I have to hide my true thoughts."

"I don't know what I should and shouldn't say so just correct me and don't take it personally."

"How can I not take it personally if it's obvious what you just said was you're actually thought?"

"Ok, my intention is not to kick you when your down, my habit is just to be harsh because I lack patience and compassion."

"You won't be making any such excuses for as long as you're with me."

"Ok."

"Now say sorry."

"Sorry, but it is in my nature. Don't expect me to change for your sake." Shirakawa glares at him.

"For a split second I wondered why anyone one would ever choose you over me then I looked at you and the resentment faded. At least you're honest. I can't stand how cool you are!" He reaches to tear Kurosaki's t-shirt off dramatically in the heat of the moment, but he resists it.

"Why are you all over my body?"

"Should I stop?"

"No."

"Alright then."

"But no one else is pulling my clothes off me."

"You're too cute."

"I'm not cute, Nor have I ever been nor will I ever be." Shirakawa squeezes his cheek and he bats his hand away. "You're the cute one."

"I can't help myself." He kisses his forehead then systematically covers his whole face. He presses against his lips then stops abruptly and Kurosaki stretches up to meet his again.

"You're still so cute. I never thought I'd say that."

"I'd rather you didn't. My face has not changed so it's obviously based on my actions and resultant demeanour. If I could go back and change it I would."

"If you did that we wouldn't be here." He leans over to kiss him again, then trails down to his jawline, then his neck. Kurosaki let's out an involuntary laugh and Shirakawa giggles when he realises his stoic friend is ticklish. Embarrassed yet again he starts to get mad, no one has ever had a reason to laugh at him before and two times in one night is getting to be too much. Is this what it feels like to be vulnerable? Shirakawa regains his composure and resists the urge to exploit his weakness, in order to not ruin the mood. Following his plan, he reaches downward, as soon as he finds his target Kurosaki starts to tense. He squirms under the gentle touch and squeezes his eyes shut, in an apparent state of discomfort.

"No, stop it, that's- Aaah~ Oh. Oops. Errmm."

"Did you just-" He covers his eyes and nods into his hands. "Already?" Kurosaki, just pants. "Will I ever get to do anything? I didn't even grip it. You must like me more than you like her."

"Who?"

"Yuu-chan."

"You're the centre of my world and you always have been. You're the only person that makes me happy, when I just see you."

"In other words, you're _happy to see me_?"

"Every time." Shirakawa laughs hysterically. "What is it?"

"You."

"My...?" He rolls over and puts his face on the pillow. As much of an embarrassment as he has caused himself, He will not let Shirakawa see him go red. "I just noticed my underwear is really gooey. I'll go change it."

"Where are you going?"

"The WC, if you must know."

"Change here." Shirakawa's hand movements get a little bit faster at the thought of that.

"But you'll see."

"See what? I've seen it all before. Either by accident or where it was necessary, like in the bath. Don't get all shy now."

"This is more than a change of clothes I've got gloop to deal with."

"I can clean it off with my-" He leaves the room. "Mouth or my _other hole_ , you decide… Just last for me, please. I don't want anal yet, but still… Anything is good. We can work our way up to that. It won't be long before I actually get to touch and who knows how far we can go from there. This is going to be quite the eventful night. If only me a week ago, could see me now. To think, I Takumi, could be in bed with Kuro! All those years of waiting for him to notice me and it just turned out I had to be the initiator, he thought all likes were the same... He's just not emotive enough to think about any of this stuff. Bless him!"

"Who are you talking to? Didn't you notice me leave the room?"

 _He's back yay! I should have saved him the trip he won't be needing underwear with what I've got install for him._

"Good night, Takumi."

"Night Kuro."

 _Eeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh? No way. Is this what it's gonna be like? The first point of call is to get him to reciprocate. That'd mean he'd have to see mine, so he'd have to be ok with it, so I need him to experience what I want him to do. So, he knows what's good. Or we could both… At the same time and he should know to stay, but he's getting quicker… Now he knows what's coming there could even be a preemptive one. We're just gonna have to have a sensible talk about this. I can't make fun of him, because he got so embarrassed this time he had to leave the room, but he needs to know._

"Kuro, are you awake?"

"Zzzz…"

 _He sleeps straight after?_ _This is gonna be a long road._

He's ignoring me because he thinks it's time to sleep… Wait a minute, that was interesting! I didn't have to do any work. He must not like her the same way he likes me… I can go to sleep happy! Maybe everything really does happen for a reason. Until now I never saw a future for us outside of my imagination and now it's happening. I might have to thank that girl for being an idiot. The thoughts of Kurosaki's reciprocation keep him awake.

 _All that time I spent getting my hopes up for this... All the fantasies I based on the fact we're alone in the same room together for around twelve hours a day. I thought the possibilities were endless, maybe that's only true in my head. I'm not bothered any more I'm just excited about the future. He needs to learn that we don't sleep in separate beds anymore._ He gets out of bed, kisses Kurosaki's cheek and climbs under the bed sheets. Kurosaki turns over and unconsciously clutches onto Shirakawa, who gasps.

"You're here?"

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No, not since you changed your mood, I don't feel like you hate me any more."

"I never hated you I was just jealous of how you were with Yuu-chan so I wanted to get in the middle of all that."

"You're quite special to me."

"I don't want to be special, I just want to be the only."

"You're my only best friend, ok? Don't ever get confused and start thinking I'm replacing you again. You can have all the attention you want just don't forget to ask, because I won't remember. You're my number one priority, outside of Tokyo University."

"I don't need all your time, but it's boyfriend not best friend, silly."

"Eh? Isn't that worse?"

"No it's an upgrade. You can tell anyone you want what we've become. The only special treatment I need is that your Saturdays are with me and everything we do in this bed (or mine) you cannot do with anyone else."

"Why?"

"Because otherwise it's not special."

"Only hug you?"

"If it's this close, for this long and lying down, yes. Only kiss me, too. I'll take care of you. In every way. You can tell me anything and ask me anything. You must also remember that I'm the only one allowed to touch you and you can only touch me. Ok?"

"Ok. Good."

"No I'm you're only what?"

"You are my only _boyfriend_."

"I want to be your only love."

"What about my family?"

"This is a romantic love so it can only be with one person. It's why I will dissolve my fictitious relationship to Yuu-chan in the morning."

"Ok, you're the only."

"Say 'my only'."

"You're my only." Shirakawa kisses Kurosaki's face all over, until he can't help but smile. "You must love me more than anyone else, I've ever met."

"Maybe I do."

"Why didn't you say it before?"

"I thought it'd ruin our friendship."

"Isn't this meant to be the peak of friendship?"

"It's all that and more, that's why it's only between two people."

"So, you were too shy?"

"Pretty much."

"Good job I kissed you, then."

"I seriously thought our friendship was over and that it was my fault, but this is a new beginning. Now, where were we?"

"When? Before you got up and left?"

"On your bed."

"Shall we resume?"

"You're really fun to be around sometimes a bit _too_ fun."

"I would change that if it meant you'd be a little bit less over..."

"Zzzzzzzzz…"

"Never mind." He strokes Kurosaki s head and smiles to himself

The next day.

"Kuro why are you still in bed? I'm already dressed."

"What?"

"Did you have a late night last night or something?"

"You know I did and I'm not going."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

"Aw~ You're too embarrassed to see Yuu."

"You know I made a mistake and I regret it, but don't treat me as badly as I feel."

"So you really _are_ sorry?"

"I like to still think of you as my best friend."

"BOYfriend!"

"And I made you cry. I didn't think you felt so seriously about her."

"I don't."

"But-"

"You've got perfect attendance and now is not the time to ruin it."

"Do you forgive me?"

"These are your last few months, I just feel obligated to-"

"Just go then."

"Get over yourself."

"I'm sorry but I don't know how to take it back besides apologising."

"You could shave off all your hair."

"Really? That would be enough?"

"No."

"What else?"

"I don't want you to do that."

"Why did you suggest it?"

"I was just being mean."

"Do you feel better when you're mean?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"Because I'm mad at you but not mad enough to let you throw your life in the bin."

"My life?"

"Your commitment to your education is important for your Tokyo university application.

"Did I tell you I was aiming for that?"

"No but I know you're capable and 100% attendance is a good attribute. Get up."

"Not today."

"You'll make me late."

"I'm not making you do anything."

"I'm not leaving until you come."

"Why?"

"I suppose the humiliation you'll face when Yuu next talks to you will be a little bit of punishment."

"Is that how you think?"

"Where are you taking that towel?"

"To get a shower."

"You don't have time."

"If I don't eat breakfast I will have time."

"You're coming with me right now."

"Wow, you really hate me."

"You made a mistake and everyone probably makes at least one mistake a day then says oops then forgets what they did. You can't keep dwelling on this."

"You won't forgive me."

"Maybe I will one day."

"What can I do to make that happen faster?"

"Everything I tell you and that means answering questions truthfully."

"I'm not your slave."

"Did I say that."

"No."

"Just be obedient and don't do anything sneaky again."

"Do you have anything to confess?"

"That was not the first time Yuu-"

"Came in here at night!?"

"Saw my…"

"Stop acting shy, pitty won't make me forgive you."

"Indecency."

"When was the first?"

"She happened to be in the bath the I told you to leave because it was too hot."

"In what context is it ok for her and you to be alone naked in some hot steamy water?"

"When jealous girls pull a prank on her."

"I happened to meet a couple of them last night but I need to know more. Start getting dressed."

"Ok."

"Why did you bite Yuu-chan?"

"How do you know?"

"She told me."

"So you've been exchanging horror stories about me?"

"Something like that."

"I didn't know that was bad, I thought I was being friendly like that drama with the perm guy and Monkey woman, but he didn't seem to like her."

"You saw Hana yori Dango 2!?"

 _The more I get to know him the more I find him cute, and that's weird because while I knew there was more to him then being evil, I always believed that was the main aspect of his personality… It just turns out he has a habit of hiding the more likeable parts. Thought I have always linked all the parts._

"No I haven't. I don't know what that is."

"Yeah yeah yeah, don't get shy with me now, boy. Like you said, I've seen all there is to see."

"I wasn't just faking ignorance because I wanted to act cool, I've on seen little bits here and there of different ones because my sister watched a lot of nonsense before she got busy with her entrance exams and moved away. I didn't watch them, but I have seen parts."

"So, you learnt kisses from TV but never the context?"

"Well it's not as if my parents ever do, it's really rare for them to be in the same country at the same time for work and from what I've seen of them together they're probably not even friends, because they don't speak."

"You don't recognise any significance in a first kiss?"

"Errrm…"

" I will try to teach you the meaning of love romance and monogamy, but first swear that you'll never kiss Yuu-chan again for as long as you live and I'll swear the same."

"Why?"

"Trust me now and you'll feel really silly when you understand all of this."

"I understand everything."

"Do you understand people?"

"That's my only thing, but I've never needed to. I would have nothing to do with Yuu if she didn't make me angry. She had to be my slave but I don't want her to hate me, or she'll stop listening, then her fear would turn to rebellion and I wanted her to want her to do as she as told."

"I don't know if you're cruel and calculating or just guilty."

"That'd mean I cared about her."

"You need to stop pretending to be tough. I know every order you gave her was because Abe-bachan's arthritis was flaring up so she couldn't scrub the floors any more and so long as the floor got dirty, you wouldn't be able to stop her."

"Goodbye Takumi."

"Admit it." Kurosaki leaves their room and they don't speak again until the later that day, at school.

They finally have their first encounter of the day, in the hallway and without a second of hesitation, Kurosaki presses his mouth against his love's. Shirakawa hits him.

"What was that for?"

"I thought you liked to do that."

"In private."

"Oops, you should have said."

"I didn't think I needed to. I give off the impression of being the biggest playboy in school. I'm everyone's prince so I can't be in a couple. The only reason girls leave me alone is because they collectively agree that it wouldn't be fair for me to be occupied by any of them."

"Why are you so mad at me, I thought this would make us better friends."

"Not better friends 'more than friends'."

"So you still like me?"

"I never stopped liking you."

"Really?" He hugs him.

"There'll be none of that either."

"One minute you want me to touch you, the next you don't. Just say you do or you don't and stick to it."

"I do, just not in front of other people."

"So you're ashamed of me?"

"No… Errrm… It's because they'll get jealous."

"That I only kiss you now?"

"They wouldn't be jealous of me for having you, they'd be jealous of you for having me."

"Ok." He looks at the floor.

"I can't believe in this situation Kurosaki-kun is the vulnerable one." An overexcited girl whispers too loudly. They both look at her and Kurosaki grabs her arm right as she tries to leave. "Ow! Let go. Please, you're hurting me." He naturally squeezes tighter.

"Stop Kuro."

"So, I can't touch _anyone_ else? You make up too many rules." He pushes the girl. "And I'm not vulnerable!" He grunts as he walks away.

"Sorry about that, what you said must have hurt his feelings he gets angry instead of sad. Are you ok?"

 _He was already in a bad mood because I rejected him... He must really like me!_

"I'm fine I think I like him more now."

"Even though he was mean to you?"

"Yeah~"

"You're freaky."

 _Just like me..._

"I mean, I like that he's got a soft side. I didn't mean any disrespect it's cute."

 _Wow everyone is a Kuro supporter... But we're all on the same team… He is super cute when you get to know him._

"Where did you get that idea anyway?"

"I didn't hear everything, but I heard you refer to this as you being 'more than friends', so you don't care about him enough to define you both as a couple. He had to ask if you still liked him, so he doesn't feel valued. He asked if you were ashamed of him and with hesitation you said other people were jealous and that's why he was wrong."

"You're really nosey."

"If two boy's- Or anyone kisses in a main area everyone's gonna look." He looks around and everyone starts to pretend to do something else, like reading or talking. They quickly glance at him and away to see if he notices they're faking and it's then that he realises the room had been silent up until that point.

"It was fan service." He declares.

"You think you've actually got fans? Pffft!" She laughs.

"I don't feel sorry for you any more, I hope your arm bruises."

"That's not cool. Just because you're insecure it doesn't mean you have to take it out on me. "

 _I wasn't_ _I just let my true thoughts out by accident._

"He caused it!"

"You're lying about the fanservice he would never participate in such an attention seeking thing. He actually likes you and you're ashamed to be seen with him. Why? Because he's a boy? He doesn't care that you're a boy. You told him he could kiss you. Then you got mad at him for touching me? You're such a good for nothing-"

"You said it hurt!"

"It's only because you showed him such contempt, my words were merely the straw that broke the camel's back. He was only gonna tell me he wasn't vulnerable, because it's not in his character to show that. Didn't you notice? He only got mad after you interfered. I saw you slap him, it's your fault. Do you even like him?" Sensing that he can't argue or intimidate his way out of this he returns to being friendly, it's his only approach to conflict that works.

"Chill out it was just a prank, that was part of it. He would have manhandled any one that called him weak. He might have punched you if you were a dude."

"He doesn't fight, he's not violent. He's just never been gentle."

"He didn't expect to be heckled, he only agreed because he thought it'd bother the girls that like me, you know how evil he is."

"Name one."

"Yuu-Chan!"

 _But she actually likes Kuro… Oh well, she doesn't_ _know_.

"You know they have been in a major feud since she cut his hair. What better way to get back at her then to claim her crush for himself, publicly. It was all going well until you chimed in. Don't you release I've got to share a room with that guy?" He forces a laugh.

"So you're telling me he'd exact revenge on a person nowhere to be seen and that you'd hit him for following your prearranged plan and that he'd get _so_ mad over me being _surprised_ that he has any vulnerability whatsoever."

"Yeah, he's quite the volatile chap."

"But your conversation was so private and in hushed tones unlike when you announced it was fan service. You mean to say that when you set up this prank _and_ enacted it you didn't notice anyone else was in the room, despite the fact having it be public was your intention?" He struggles to think of a comeback and sighs out of relief that Yuu is walking towards them.

"Hi Shirakawa-kun! I heard Kurosaki-kun finally kissed you!" By this point everyone had gone back to other activities for real since the argument made them feel uncomfortable, but every head snaps up after this loud exclamation."He must like you back I'm so happy for you!"

"Hi Yuu-chan."

"Hi Utsuki-Chan."

"You knew about their romance all along?"

"Yeah, from the start, I knew before Kurosaki-kun knew. "

"So, you were ok with being used by Shirakawa-kun to make him jealous."

"I didn't really see it like that."

"How did you see it?"

"Like I was helping him."

"Wow, you really don't know how to treat anyone properly." He tries to find the words to defend himself but she walks away and says. "Keep being a sweet girl Yuu-chan."

"Bye." Says Yuu.

"What's all that about?"

"I tried to convince her nothing was going on after she saw him kiss me and me get mad at him for it. To her that means I'm ashamed of him which was not helped by me insisting that I didn't love him. Then you came and now she thinks I'm horrible."

"I thought you were."

 _The last thing I read before my exam was "game over" with no explanation. I know it was fake but it was so lame to dump me over text after you recruited me for yet another scheme to upset Kurosaki-kun._

"But I care what people think, so I hid it. I'd say most of her reasons for disliking me were untrue but they are true. I'm way too insincere and image conscious. At least while Kuro can be too blunt, he isn't capable of hiding anything he thinks or feels. He's also not a liar as she said. I think I like him more now too…"

"You just have to show him you like him."

"How can I do that?"

"Take him on a date."

"There's no way I'll be able to convince him to do that. I'm not even sure he knows what a couple is."

"Then do what you do best."

"What?"

"Lying, tricking deceiving."

"Woah woah woah!"

"To put it in plain terms manipulation. Just make him feel like he has to go."

"Where?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere far away from school that I can be lovey dovey with him without causing a scene or spectators in general."

"Out of the city?"

"Also somewhere he'd enjoy so he'll wanna go out with me in the future."

"What does he like?"

"Nothing."

"From I what can tell he likes to play the piano, read books, I'm sure he likes food."

"He likes to read about physics, so a planetarium but that'd put me to sleep."

"I imagine he likes to smile, but he only does that at other people's expense."

"Actually~"

"What? He can be made to smile in other ways."

"Go on."

"He's ticklish."

"You're lying."

"It's true!"

"How did you find out?"

"I have my ways."

"He's surprisingly soft."

"Don't let him hear you say that."

"Oh which reminds me I haven't seen him today."

"Maybe it's because he doesn't want to be seen by you."

"Why?"

"Oh because of what I did? I wasn't thinking at all, so much so I barely remember what happened all I could think of was how mad I was that he woke me up on an exam night for trivial nonsense and then he was so arrogant. I was so out of character, never again." She dry heaves. "I want to throw up at the memory."

"It was an important catalyst, thought an unfortunate one. If you protested the way he wanted you to, who knows if I would have reacted the same way. He ended up feeling _so_ sorry his plot that he approached me, held me and kissed me. I all I had to do was act uninterested. He's attracted to that for some reason."

"You can use his sorriness to get you this date."

"But how do I get him to like it?"

"I know, just ask him what he wants to do."

"Ok. I'll try that, see you."

"Bye."

Back at the dorm

"I got through the whole day without seeing her, but then we had to eat together."

"You weren't close enough to speak, though."

"I don't wanna be. How can she be so unashamed?"

"You're the ashamed one for a reason."

"I agree."

"Your thoughtless actions are the reason you owe me a date."

"What?"

"You stole my first kiss."

"I stole it? Wait, does that mean Yuu-chan thinks I stole hers? That's why she hates me."

"She loves you!" He shouts, then he whispers. "Probably almost as much as I do."

"Yeah right." He thinks back to what she did.

 _That was retaliation! She got_ _ **that**_ _mad that I kissed her? Shirakawa got mad too... I must've made a mistake._

"It serves her right for cutting my hair. She can carry on hating me because I'm not sorry. It started as a feud and it'll end as a feud. That'll teach me to be nice."

 _I've always been horrible to everyone I met and I still managed to make friends, but that girl is the only one who ever got mad at me. It was the first time I tried to be nice. I still don't like making any kind of effort. I'm better off being cold and distant, it's not like my efforts did me any good._

"Why does it always have to circle back to Yuu-chan? I was talking about me."

 _He's always mad at me lately, is this what it feels like to be friends with me? I need to get our friendship back to normal otherwise, I won't have anyone to ask about what's right and wrong. I know I can't let him keep feeling like a loser. It's definitely in his head, no one likes me more than they like him. Why would they?_

"You only abbreviate when you're stressed, what's up?"

"I didn't think I was stealing your kiss, I thought I was giving you one."

"Well, you stole it and you can make it up to me."

"How?"

"Touch my lip to reset." Kurosaki does nothing so Shirakawa takes his hand, bends all but his index finger down and guides it to his own mouth. "Now we have never kissed, because we say we haven't."

"That was easy."

"It's not gonna be that easy… Where are you going?"

"To reset Yuu."

"No, you haven't changed the past whatever you thought that was yesterday, just isn't going down in my records as my first kiss. I had a plan."

"Ok."

"So you make it up to me by agreeing to a date."

"I agree to a date."

"You agreed straight away?"

"I don't know what you think a date is but, Let's just start by you telling me a place you'd like me to go to with you."

"I don't want to go anywhere with you."

"Don't be difficult, you agreed to date me."

"I will."

"Ok, where do you wanna go?"

"The number one university in my country."

"This weekend?"

"I don't go places."

"Well, you're about to start."

"Why?"

"Don't you enjoy my company?"

"If I didn't would I willing spend about seventy-five per cent of each day with you?"

"Time in lessons would occur whether or not you were willing."

"Ok, fifty per cent?"

"I doubt it, you're not a very tolerant individual."

"Ok, then it's settled. We spend enough time together."

"I was trying to take you on a date to show that I like you. Obviously, none of that matters to you."

"Not really."

"You were so mad earlier today."

"The mixed messages wind me up, I don't know how to respond."

"You'd go on the date _for me,_ though?"

"SInce I owe you."

"Ok, pick a location."

"Anywhere?"

"Within reason."

"Here."

"Stop joking."

"I'm not, I don't want to be subjected to all those rules, I can't keep track of them."

"We'll just be around each other in public the same way we always have been."

"You are embarrassed of me."

"I said I wasn't, it's just about the impression we give."

"So we're not more than friends outside of this room?"

"We are but the only time we do the things we can only do with each other is when others can't see us."  
"But what if I want to?"

"The moments are special because only two people share them and have memories of them. Only they should experience it."

"So?"

"Contain yourself."

"I'll try to, but who knows."

"I'm warning you."

"So we can't 'date' in front of other people."

"We can."

"But there are rules?"

"Exactly."

"I know where I want to go."

"Where?"

"The local park."

"What!?"

"You're the one that suggested we should 'be around each other in public the same way we always have been'."

"Not like as kids."

"We had all the fun without the drama."

"That's not progression in our relationship, it's regression."

"It's where I want to go."

"No."

"Ok, you must not really want to show how me that you like me."

"I do."

"Why won't you go to the only place I want to go?"

"It's not my idea of a date."

"So my presence is not enough for you to have a good time?"

"Kuro..."

"I didn't even get a chance to argue my case. You just said 'no', why did you bother to ask my opinion if you were just gonna ignore it?"

"Why did I fall in love with an awful guy like you? Since the romance has been involved all we ever do is fight and compete."

"You _love_ me?"

"It's not as if I can help it."

"No one's ever said they did before."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I never thought about it."

"I'll listen to your idea."

"Under the cover of darkness, we sneak out and go to the park."

"And then?"

"Have a good time. There is no one there, so no rules apply and I cannot see myself, as grown as I am, queuing behind children for a turn on the swing. I'd love to put headphones in close my eyes and swing to my heart's content… Obviously, you're coming so we can look up at the stars and talk instead. I look less like a weird hooligan if I'm not alone, but I think walking around the park and chilling out without anyone else there could be fun."

"You're sweet."

"I'm not. Maybe I just want us to be antisocial together."

"That's called being social and you're gonna have to get used to it."

"Only with you."

"I appreciate the loyalty."

"You're the only one worth my time." Shirakawa squeals.

"Maybe all the arguments are caused by me, not listening to you. You're not bad."

"I admit to being bad."

"Ok we'll do your date, but let's bring some junk food to snack on."

"I've got a wireless speaker that I've never opened because I'm never alone."

"I can finally hear your taste."

"My taste is bad, just like me, though I do think people that don't like what I like don't have taste, so let's just say I don't have taste, at least that way you won't judge me."

"I never would."

"Really? You've done quite a lot of laughing at me for someone that doesn't judge me."

"I won't, we'll find out if we've got anything in common and the next date we go on could be a concert."

"I've always wanted to relieve some stress in a mosh pit..."

"So you're one of those? I always thought you liked classical."

"Why?"

"The piano.  
"I did go through a phase at one point when I thought I needed to be able to name classical pieces in order to talk to rich or educated people. It turns out it was just my dad that quizzed me randomly. I don't see him as much now, but I at this point can only remember about five composers and two songs, or should I say, _pieces of music_."

"How do you sleep to rock?"

"I wouldn't do that, there's too much talk of death and it's a bit satanic at times. Call me a freak if you like, but I have to admit I like rap."

"You really are a strange character."

"I've never heard anything that matched my general mood like this before."

"I'll try it."

"Really? It's considered quite unpleasant by some."

"If it'll make you happy I'll give it a go."

"Wow, you're committed."

"And this date is a success without having even taken place."

"How?"

"We've already bonded and I even managed to show you that I really like you." Kurosaki hugs him,

"Good night."

 _Did he just? Already? No! Is he bored of me? Actually, come to think of it aside from the times he was just trying to cheer me up or gain my approval I've been the one to initiate intimacy. He would never ask me to touch anything. I just do it. He only seems comfortable with a hug and a gentle kiss. Anything else is too much. At least if that girl got his first kiss, I got his first hug!_ Kurosaki gets into bed. He faces the wall and closes his eyes. _I thought last night was enough for me to teach him we don't sleep alone anymore._

"Don't you wanna lay with me?"

"I just want to sleep I spent so much energy avoiding Yuu I had to do her chores and everything."

"I knew you were just trying to save an old lady from feeling pain."

"I could not allow it."

 _Oooh! Being in a couple has made him less distant, he'll admit to having at least some good will in him._

"Anyway that's besides the point you need to fix your relationship with Yuu-chan."

"I don't."

"You can't avoid her forever."

"I suppose doing her chores is a pain."

"Not for the sake of being your slave."

"Why else do I need her?"

"You're friends."

"We are enemies."

"First of all that's not how she sees you and secondly she won't touch you again, she knows about us and she's not trying to avoid you. In fact, she's confused about why you're avoiding her."

"I don't wanna talk about this."

"I know it made you uncomfortable and had a drastic effect on our friendship but look how much closer we are now."

"Does this mean you're happy she did what she did?"

"In some ways I am, in other ways, I'm not."

"So, do I have to forgive to her or does she have to forgive me?"

"You were both in the wrong."

"Equally?"

"That's not for me to say. I also don't know. I definitely blame do you more, but if you tried harder to fix your mistake I might have blamed her more. She is the better person, considering the fact that you just sat here all in your feelings and she chased me down the corridor in the dark wearing slippers, when she hasn't even known me her whole life, like you have."

"So I should thank her for cheering you up? Actually no, you were still very mad at me when you got back."

"I wasn't mad, I was just hurt and you were the one that upset me. You didn't just expect me to act normal and carry on the conversation between us like nothing happened, did you? I'm not you."

"So, I _have_ to talk to her?"

"Maybe start by not avoiding her."

"That would be a lot less stressful. I will not give her, her first order until she approaches me, though. I am not trying to interact with her on purpose."

"Shy boy~"

"I'm not shy, I'm just not a fan of people."

"I'm a person."

"Other people." Shirakawa throws off his bed sheets and Dashes over to kiss Kurosaki's cheek, he wipes it off with the corner of his duvet and Shirakawa's heart sinks. "Goodnight."

 _Is that it!_

"Goodnight." Shirakawa grumbles. "So I can't get in with you?"

"Your bed is warmer, what's your problem?"

"I'd rather we were together."

"I need to sleep I didn't have enough last night, then you woke me up by getting in my bed, then I had an unusually busy day today."

"Weak boy~"

"I won't argue that. Goodnight, Takumi."

"Night, Kuro."

 _At least I'm not the reason he won't be close to me… He's not looking this way, so he can't even have his heart melted by how sad I look! That means he won't feel sorry for me and yield…_ He suddenly stops sulking. _Oh well back to the usual routine!_ He gets into bed, checks Kurosaki isn't looking before he closes his eyes and sets to work. _In amongst the excitement yesterday, with all that deepening of our bond, aside from the two earlier times I didn't get the chance to bust._ He really gets down to business. _Oh my gosh! I saw it! The whole thing! Hard! Wow! That sure adds some fuel to the fire…_ Meanwhile the thoughts of reconciliation are running through Kurosaki's mind, and his thoughts are spinning out of control. He's feeling certain that he cannot be involved in this confrontation. He adjusts his position in bed.

 _How did 'Yosemite' not put me to sleep? I can't even hear my playlist over my thoughts. I really don't want to talk about this. It's settled. I'm not going to sleep tonight. I could have sworn I just passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow, yesterday. After all that drama! What's the difference between then and now? I had all the bad experiences fresh in my mind and everything. Oh! It's just because I've had time to think about how bad it was and how bad it makes me feel. My stomach is flipping like a pancake in a frying pan. I can't sleep, even the sound of 'Greet her' isn't relaxing me. I will not be talking to Yuu tomorrow. It can't be done._ He opens his eyes and takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. His exhausted body and hyped up nerves don't seem to be able to come to an agreement on whether or not he should be sleep. _What's Takumi doing? He's asleep I can't disturb him, it's too selfish, just because I can't sleep. I don't want to keep him up. His hand sure is restless. I wonder of he knows he does that? It's just like last night. He was awake then. Wait a minute! … Does that mean… He's awake!?_ He disconnects and places his headphones to the side. He squints and furrows his brow. Then Shirakawa lets out a quiet sound.

"Ah~"

 _Why am I starting to feel odd? Is he touching his-! Why would he? He tried to touch mine and then? Something happened. Time to copy. I can't, but I can, but I don't want to, but I do. I need to know why he's doing that... Watching him is too much I need to stop._ He closes his eyes again and tries to sleep _. Ignore him._

"Oh Kuro!"

 _He's thinking of me? Like yesterday. This is interesting._ He opens his eyes again and looks. _Why does how wrong this feels make me so much more curious? I can't stop watching._ He clenches his hand into fists and starts to bite his knuckle. He is thinking of taking the opportunity to speak, but no words will come out. Shirakawa arches his back and Kurosaki takes a huge gulp. _Why do I feel so wrong?_ He notices the throbbing below. _Again? He caused this again... If I don't have to be near him for it to happen how can I control this? I can't look. Try to sleep! At least I'm distracted from my woes… But my body is freaking out! My heart rate is up and so is something else… Just try to relax. I'll read a book._ He turns to move and the bed creaks, Shirakawa's ears prick up. Kurosaki realises it's too dark and drops onto his pillow out of disappointment in himself for being dumb. Shirakawa hears and stops in his tracks, he opens one eye and sees him lying still with his eyes closed. He assumes he's sleeping so relaxes and takes a sigh of relief.

 _Whatever, I knew I couldn't get a rise out him tonight. He so tired… Is he pitching a tent? He's definitely asleep, yet another waste…_ He pulls his bed sheets completely off, closes his eyes again and continues. _I might as well tempt fate… It's not as if don't want him to take an interest in me… Oh, I can imagine if he saw! He'd slide in next to me and I'd feel it poke me then we'd passionately kiss and he'd take me!_

"Yes Kuro!" Kurosaki's eyes flick open and he scans the room for where the voice came from. Then he sees it. His whole mind explodes and he loses it.

"Ah!"

 _Oh no! That was so loud! My underwear! Crap, I can't sneak out and change it without disturbing him! I really feel like sleeping for some reason, I couldn't move if I tried..._

"Kuro?"

"Zzz..."

 _What the heck kind of dream is he having? I want to know! It had better not involve that girl._

The following night.

"We're finally alone together."

"What's so special about that? Not only has that been the only consistent thing ever day since we joined this school, but we've got that date tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, you're right, wait one second, why can I always trust you to spoil my mood, can't you just be sweet again?"

"I'm just stating facts, I'll never be fake with you, what you hear is the first thought in my mind."

"Ok, I can't help but respect that fact. Did you make up with Yuu-chan?"

"Make up?"

"Are you cool again?"

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"I thought there was tension between you two."

"I just resent her for cutting my hair, why do you care so much about me and her?"

"The incident."

"Incident?"

"When she came into our room."

"Oh that? I forgot. She just started talking to me normally so I gave her an order and sent her on her way."

"You forgot!?"

"I was too busy thinking about you all day."

 _That sounds cheesy, but I know it's for real, he's never successfully lied to me and he sounded so sincere._

"Is that true!?"

"Yes, no matter how hard I tried there was an image of you in my head. I could barely focus on anything else. I think you're the only reason I slept so soundly last night."

 _I was in that dream! And all his subsequent daydreams! Boy oh boy does he like me! It's been so many years since I first realised my feelings and my brain isn't even that loyal!_

"You completely cleared my head. I went to bed so stressed and with you on my mind there is none."

"Even I'm surprised, I didn't know I had that kind of power over you!"

"Me neither..." He stares at a spot on the ground and puts his hands in his pockets.

"I'm not making you nervous am I?"

"..."

 _I know I am, he's never admitted to such private feelings before. He's too cute!_

"Is there something on your mind?"

"Errrmm… I-I-I would l-like to… I wanna sleep with you tonight!" He chokes out hurriedly.

"You wanna _sleep with_ me?"

"Tonight and every other night." Shirakawa kisses him deeply.

"Get your tongue out of my mouth."

"Is it gross?"

"No, but-"

"Just relax." Shirakawa kisses him again, more passionately. Did you like that one?"

"Yeah~"

"I bet you did, I can definitely tell."

 _It's pressing against me like in my fantasy!_

"I'm going to french kiss you again, but you have to close your eyes this time."

"Why?"

"That's just what people do."

"Why?"

"Heck if I know. Let's say it's more sensual that way. Close 'em."

"What are you going to do?"

"Kiss you." He takes both sides of Kurosaki's face and manipulates the movement of his head. He backs Kurosaki onto his bed and he falls willingly. "Before I start, what do you think it means to 'sleep with' a person?"

"You both lay down in the same bed."

"And?"

"Close your eyes and fall asleep."

"Aw you're so cute!"

"I'm not!"

"You're blushing! Kya~" He draws him closer and infiltrates his tight unexpecting lips. Shirakawa is unsure of himself but passionate and he doesn't stop for breath. He keeps his eyes closed and drinks in the experience with all five of his senses. The taste, the smell, the feeling of Kurosaki that close to him, the warmth, the sounds, the sounds? Shirakawa's eyes open quickly when he feels Kurosaki pull away from him. He's flushed red and avoids looking at him. Shirakawa's jaw drops and he gets a little bit mad. Kurosaki is too embarrassed to notice and stands up.

"Excuse me I'll be gone for a minute." He comes back dressed for bed and climbs in. "What the heck?"

"What's the matter?"

"You-!" He stops himself.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Yes."

"I stopped kissing? That's enough for tonight, I can't take any more."

 _What about me? That was both of our first french kisses and it went like I'd imagined except it shouldn't have been me on top and not only for half a minute, followed immediately by sleep. Ok, so it didn't go to plan but at least it wasn't a first disrupted by that girl_. _I can't_ believe _how powerful my effect on him is. I'm going to have to go way slower then I planned. I don't know how much longer this will be cute. You know what, I can do this at his pace and make it seem like it's my idea or that I'm trying to tease him._

The next day.

"If you weren't so strange we could have been using this whole day for our date."

"You can pick next time."

"We can have a three-course meal at a five star restaurant."

"Then I'd pick a trip to the public library."

"You go to the library every day."

"But that's the school library."

"I suppose we could have our first study date, but shouldn't the milestone dates be extra special?"

"'Milestone?'"

"The first, the third the fifth-"

"I'm picking the first so it can't be helped if mine fall on the odd dates."

"Oh, oops… I forgot to explain myself."

"In what way?"

"Remember how I said you stole my first kiss?"

"Yes and I'm sorry."

"I would like to reset again."

"Is this what we always have to do?" He touches Shirakawa's lip.

"No, it's just that last night doesn't fall in line with my plan. I've got everything very meticulously ordered in my head, Kuro. Will you agree to it?"

"Tell me the plan first."

"My plan has always been that from the first date onwards, we can engage in hugging, hand holding and cheek kisses, from the third lip kisses, from the fifth, mouth kisses from the tenth, nether region touches, from the twentieth nether region kisses both of which are for an extended period of time. Post marriage will be nether region union, which is also for an extended period." Kurosaki looks confused.

 _He might not get what I said but basically, I won't get off until date ten, while I expect date five will be enough for him. I don't even know if he'll be ready for such a level of intimacy by date ten, after what I've seen... I just can't see myself going any slower, this is me being patient…_

"I thought about it extensively so you must right your wrong by being in love with me and taking responsibility for your actions, starting with satisfying the date agreement.

"But I don't know what you're asking for."

"Are you gonna let me follow my plan?"

"Can't we be spontaneous?"

 _Yeah, we could, and I'd be disappointed every time. If there's a schedule there is a guarantee that both parties will be satisfied._

"Wait until we have our date."

"But I miss your magic touch." He hugs Shirakawa.

 _Oh, he just wants to nut… Me too bro._

"That's funny because we've only been this close since the day before yesterday." He breaks out of the hug. It's then that Kurosaki hits him with the puppy dog eyes. "It won't work." He looks at the ground then sniffs a couple of times then looks back up. It looks almost as if he's going to cry. "If you keep feeling that sorry for yourself, I'll throw up." Kurosaki's bottom lip threatens to poke out. "Get a grip, you're being really cute right now, if you don't want to be treated that way, don't act that way. You just have to wait until tonight."

"I might end up enjoying dates a lot more than I thought."

"Date one is hand holding, hugs and cheek kisses."

 _That might be enough to push him over the edge, for all I know._ Kurosaki tries to kiss his lips. "Ah ah ah~ We already did the reset."

"But-"

"You have to wait two dates after the one we'll have later today for that."

"Can we have more than one per week?"

"There's no rule against that, I just didn't think you'd be ready."

"I'm ready for anything."

"No you're not and I know you're not."

"Is it my fault?"

"Yes-" Kurosaki sits down with his head in his hands. "But we'll work on it together."

"On what?"

"Your problem."

"What problem?"

"It's not time for that yet anyway, you've got ten dates to become ready."

"Oh! I get it, we're still beefing."

"No, I fully forgive you, remember the date?"

"Ok, then what's my problem?"

"You get a little bit too excited."

"I'm not the type to be excited, though I am excited about this date are you trying to teach me a lesson? Is it to be grateful for your time? I am. Is it to have more patience? I just don't normally wait for anything, but I'll learn."

"Err… I'm glad to hear that. Let's practice from now."

"I'll try."

"Great."

 _I really wanted to hug him just then! But that'd just teach him the wrong lesson…_

They have an amazing date and bond more than they ever thought was possible, back when they were friends. Even the minimal contact they exchange proves too much for Kurosaki (even at the park), he still doesn't understand why Shirakawa won't let him progress,

After the date, they walk home hand in hand through the dark uninhabited streets and although it is cold Kurosaki feels the warmest he has felt in a long time. Poor Shirakawa catches a chill and pulls Kurosaki right into his personal space. He links arms so closely with Kurosaki they are effectively hugging while walking. He nearly trips over with all the extra weight on one side, then Shirakawa reaches his free hand over to hold the hand his arm is coiled around. Kurosaki smiles like he's never smiled before as they continue home. After they successfully sneak back in and get back to their room, Kurosaki asks.

"When's the next date?"

The End.

 **Author's note:**

 **Yosemite is by Travis scott and Greet her is by lil Mosey.**

 **Kurosaki's playlist is called** **一番** **and available on Spotify and I won't link it because my personal details are linked to the account that made it. The artists and songs mentioned are all on the playlist.**


End file.
